How can I set goals that make me light up?

I recently got out of a long relationship, and really want to take on the journey towards my highest potential in this new stage of life. I tried setting goals for myself to make sure I stay on the right path but find myself struggling. The goals feel more like rules or completely out of reach, and I end up feeling discouraged and limited in life. How can I go about setting goals that feel motivating?

/Morgan

Morgan, I feel you! Many of us have only experienced setting goals based on outside demands, maybe at work, in school or in sports where improvement is not based on our own heartfelt wishes. While it can be motivating to fit in and do “the right thing”, this can at the same time feel very limiting to us. The goals feel out of reach and discouraging. And no wonder. I mean, if you don’t love running, why push yourself to run faster? Or at all?

It’s time to make your goals about you and your journey. Set goals that inspire you and light you up! Allow yourself to be honest about what you really want and let go of what you think that you should want. Example: You’ve just started a new job. And it’s your dream job at that! Your heart tells you to go all in, but somewhere in your mind there’s a voice telling you not to work too much. You need a work-life balance and should limit your working hours to 8-9. No working on weekends. Now – I’m not saying you should totally ignore the voice. Instead, listen to who’s talking and how this message makes you feel. When you know what resonates the most with your desire, it’s time to ask yourself why. Do you want to work all the time to avoid feeling inadequate or the fear of not being enough? Then the voice might have a point. However, if this is not the case, and the reason you feel like going all in at work is because you’re inspired, and it fuels you with positive energy – the voice is probably not yours. If the voice has a point, a goal could be to include a self-care activity every Saturday. If the voice belongs to somebody else, a goal could be to learn a new skill related to an area of your work that you’re particularly interested in.

And don’t forget to have fun when setting your new goals!